Life is Not a Go Board
by Lisa Telramor
Summary: Future fic. Hikaru and Akira don't see what is wrong with their relationship. And it isn't anything so flimsy as romantic. OC/Akira  sorry  and hints of Akihika, implied possible future threesome


_AN: Sooo...first Hikago fic. Ummm...Yeah, OC warning, possible hints of future threesome and generally just a possible future fic?_

* * *

><p><strong>Touya Akira<strong>

Playing Ogata was a routine Akira followed since as long as he remembered playing go. Recently however, Akira wondered if he should find someone else to play every Thursday.

"So, how is Shindou?" Ogata placed a stone on 4-13, forming a diagonal.

Akira cut him off, black stone clacking against the kaya wood. "Fine last I spoke with him Thursday. Of course you _could_ ask him yourself, Ogata-san." He didn't blame Shindou for avoiding Ogata. Sometimes Akira wondered if Ogata was more obsessed with Shindou than he was.

"I don't see the point. You see him more often than I see you. …And he always runs when I try to speak with him." Ogata pushed his glasses up his nose. It was a motion he did when he was annoyed or thinking seriously, so far as Akira could tell. Knowing Shindou, it was probably both.

"If you didn't bring up Sai every time you see him…" Akira tried not to sound too judgmental. Ogata was his mentor and a friend. Still, even he had figured out that chasing Sai was the fastest way to alienate Shindou.

"He _knows _something! The way he gets shifty when you even mention the name, he has to know something." Ogata slammed his next stone onto the board harder than necessary, causing the other stones to wobble on their points. "And how is your wife?"

Akira raised an eyebrow. "She's fine, thank you. We went to a play yesterday. It was enjoyable."

"But not as fun as playing go with Shindou." There was something almost smug in Ogata's voice. It was if, Akira mused, Ogata felt he knew a secret. He took his time placing his next stone before answering.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me. You're the one spending more time with a man than your own wife." A definite smirk lurked at the corner of the jyuudan's lips. Akira frowned.

"We're rivals. Of course we spend time together. His go is brilliant."

Ogata waved a hand dismissively. "You act like he's the only challenge you have."

Rolling a stone around between his fingers, Akira wondered if Ogata knew that he was dismissing Shindou as a threat with that motion. It was surprisingly amusing to think of Ogata's expression if Shindou ever took his title. It would probably be a lot more horrified than Kuwabara-san's had been when Ogata stole his title…not that he had held onto it long. "I have plenty of opponents, and I learn from all of them. Shindou merely pushes me in ways most people are unable to do. He's unpredictable."

"And nothing like you. You two are fire and ice."

"You are oddly fixated on Shindou today." Akira clicked his stone down sharply. "Are you attempting to make a point, Ogata-san?"

Ogata spread his hands wide. It looked as false as the expressions he used to placate the many women he'd dated over the years. "Simply that it's curious that you've been married three years and your wife still uses honorifics on your name and has trouble saying your first name." He leaned forward. "Not to mention she spends most of her days at her parents' home than with you."

"She's free to do what she wants. Our parents arranged our marriage, but we're content enough." Natsume was a kind woman, quiet, and she was very filial. She could play go well enough to follow Akira's games and be the occasional practice partner, and that was enough for him. There wasn't any deeper love between them, but he'd never expected to have that. Contentment was enough. "Could you please refrain from fishing for information and finish the game? Your concentration has been slipping. Your right corner is a mess."

Scowling, Ogata looked back at the board. "Fine, but we'll talk about this later."

Akira smirked and waited to place the last stones in his trap. Ogata was a brilliant strategist, but while he had h is thoughts divided, Akira knew where he stood. Of course, the post game discussion lasting long enough to avoid the interrogation was all part of the plan. He wasn't as obvious about it, but Akira could outmaneuver social battles as easily as he could play go. Ogata's tricks didn't work when you were used to them. He calmly picked up a stone and the game continued.

**Shindou Hikaru**

"Isn't it, I don't know, emotional adultery or something? I mean, Touya spends more time with you than his wife." Waya bit into his burger and wrinkled his nose at the taste. "More ketchup."

Hikaru lounged in the plastic fast food booth waving a fry about. "He's not cheating with me. Geeze, Waya, we're not dating. Why do people keep asking me that?"

"Maybe because you practically get off playing each other." Waya snickered as he stole one of Hikaru's ketchup packets. "Hell, you'd probably choose playing go with Touya over sex with your girlfriend."

"I would not!" He chucked a fry at Waya's head. It bounced and landed on the burger wrapper. "…Okay, maybe over my last girlfriend, but only because she liked to pull my hair. Who does that?"

Waya laughed. "Apparently your ex-girlfriend. So, are we still going to Touya's go salon tomorrow?"

"Oh for goodness sake, is that what this is about!" Tossing down the last of his fries, Hikaru pointed his finger at Waya's face. "I know you hate him, but I said last week I'd bring friends to our next match for a study group. You agreed to go."

"But he doesn't like me any more than I like him! And that creep Ogata's probably there. Can't you ask, I don't know, Ochi or someone? He gets along with Touya, right?"

"Define, 'gets along.'" Hikaru rubbed his temples and slumped back into the seat. "You're such a jerk. I didn't skip out when you wanted me to come to Isumi's go get-togethers."

Waya scoffed, swallowing the last of his burger. "Isumi's your friend, dumbass. It's totally different." He crumpled the burger wrapper into a ball and tossed it onto the tray next to Hikaru's fries.

"It's not different. I came because you asked even though I had a date that day. I gave up make-out time for you!"

"With the hair-puller?" Waya smirked as Hikaru blushed. "Anyway, you asked if I wanted to play go, and told me it was with Touya _after_ I said yes. You withheld information so I don't have to go."

Huffing with annoyance, Hikaru downed half his soda in one gulp. "Fine. Be that way. If you ever took the time to get to know him you'd see he's not that bad."

Waya scoffed. He ignored Hikaru's glare and stole a fry. "So….forgive me if I set you up on a date? She's cute."

"No thanks. I'm dating Miho-chan." Hikaru slapped Waya's hand away from his fries and dragged the tray closer.

"Come on." Waya tried to take another. His hand was slapped away harder and he frowned. "You're not serious about her anyway. You'll date her, what? Another week tops? She's been on the way out for the last month."

Blushing, Hikaru stuffed the rest of his fries in his mouth. He mumbled something.

"Eww. Swallow first," Waya said. Sometimes Hikaru had the worst manners.

"I said I'm not that bad am I?" He poked Waya's burger wrapper around the plastic tray. Sure, Hikaru didn't date anyone more than a couple of months, but he wasn't a serial dater or anything. He truly liked each girl when they started going out. Usually by a couple of months they started to want more attention and didn't understand that go was important. He couldn't cancel a match just because a girl wanted a romantic outing on Valentine's Day. Hikaru glanced up at Waya.

Waya rolled his eyes. "No. You're not _that_ bad. You're just honest about when things don't seem to work out. Ever think you're not looking in the right place?"

"I go out with all kinds of women. I dated a librarian last spring!"

"And didn't that work out well."

"Err…" Hikaru shrugged. "Ok, maybe I shouldn't have pretended to like books, but she was really nice about the break up."

Waya shook his head. "Never mind. You done?"

"Huh?" Hikaru looked down at the empty tray. "Oh, yeah."

"Good." Waya smirked. "I have a game with Isumi in half an hour. See ya!"

"Hey!" Hikaru was left with the tray. "You'd better show up tomorrow!"

Waya laughed and waved. Hikaru had a feeling he would conveniently misplace his phone tomorrow. And be out of town too. Damn him. Was it so much to ask for his two best friends to get along?

"Stupid Waya," Hikaru muttered. He thought about what Waya said about Touya for a moment and shook his head. He and Touya were rivals. Of course he spent time playing him whenever he could. Playing Touya was like…like…discovering a new flavor of ramen every game. It was exciting and new no matter how many times they played and he even liked arguing over the plays. Knowing Touya criticized his every move made him think more before playing. He played his best go with Touya and Touya with him. It made perfect sense. Waya was just stupid for not seeing it.

Hikaru tossed the remains of their meal in the waste bin and started plotting how to get back at Waya for ditching him.

**Akira**

Shindou Hikaru arrived half an hour late, fifteen minutes earlier than usual, with an excuse on his lips and a scowl in his eyes. Akira cut him off before he could start his tirade. "You're late." He glanced over his rival's shoulder. "And no Waya."

"This time I had good reason! Waya's being an ass again. I know you two don't get along, but he promised he'd be here today. So I tried tracking him down at his apartment and Isumi-san's place, but he wasn't there either. He turned his phone off and I have no idea where his parents' house is. I called Morishita-sensei and he wasn't there either, so I gave up and came here." Shindou collapsed into one of the chairs where Akira set up boards earlier. "So yeah, just me today. No Ogata?"

Akira almost smiled as Shindou looked around as if he expected the older pro to pop out from behind the go board and offer him a cigarette. "No, he canceled yesterday at last minute. He took his guests with him. It's just us today." Again. Every time he tried to arrange a study group, something seemed to happen. Usually only two people showed up beside him and Shindou. More often than not it ended up being another day to argue over the go board. Still, Akira would rather just Shindou come than for his rival to miss it. The one time that happened, Akira couldn't focus.

"I think people are avoiding you," Shindou said, half serious.

"More likely they're avoiding the two of us together," Akira replied. Since every other game dissolved into mindless bickering as if they were still in grade school—and had for over a decade—he supposed the people he invited to study groups likely had the preservation of their eardrums in mind.

"How is your wife? Still quiet and spending her days with her parents?"

Akira had to check Shindou's expression. Sometimes Shindou said things and was serious. Other times, like now, he would grin like he was telling the funniest joke in the world. Akira still had trouble telling which was which unless he was watching for visual clues. "Natsume is fine, thank you. She sends her regards. Are you still dating…err, Mina-san was it?"

"Miho. Yeah." Shindou opened a goke and ran his fingers through the stones. "I think she might be cheating though. Last date we went on she kept checking her phone and texting someone. Not that I care too much, but if she's lost interest she could at least break up with me before going out with someone else."

"Ah." Akira pulled a few stones from his goke. "Nigiri." Shindou had poor taste in women and seemed to change girlfriends every other month. While Akira supposed it was his friend's business, it was annoying to hear about how each new woman was amazing or how terrible she was after the breakup. Well, that and keeping names straight was confusing after the fourth time Shindou dated someone named Ruri. Or was it Rukia? It started with "Ru" anyway.

"Don't tell Waya I said that though," Shindou continued. He laid down two stones and checked Akira's handful. They swapped goke. "He made it sound like I was a serial dater yesterday. I'm not. Things just don't seem to ever work out."

"I'm sure someone will come along," Akira said politely. It was nice to hear Shindou share something with him and not Waya for once. The knowledge was tucked away in the glowing corner of his memories where Shindou acknowledged him. They were filled with a burning happiness that wasn't like any other memories he had. As usual, he filed the thoughts away under rival-only associations. Shindou was his only true rival. Of course things were different about him.

"Thanks, Touya." Shindou placed a stone and they fell into the familiar pattern of intense concentration. The clack of go stones and the tick of the clock on the wall were calming and helped Akira focus. They were the sounds of go and the go salon. Nothing was sweeter than the clack of stone on wood. "Do you think I should have an arranged marriage?" Shindou blurted.

Akira frowned and thought his reply as carefully as he placed his next stone. The lower left side of Shindou's territory was falling apart. It seemed he wouldn't get a serious game until he put his friend's worries to rest. "I don't see why you feel the need to rush," he said finally. It was more that he couldn't see Shindou happy with an arranged marriage. It was too constricting and formal. Akira couldn't put Shindou and formal together without wincing. While Shindou wore suits to matches now, he still favored casual clothes and bleached his bangs. And if Shindou couldn't keep a girl more than a few months, he would be miserable fast if he was married to a woman. "When you find the right person, you'll know."

"You say that, but you had an arranged marriage. You'll probably have kids soon. My parents are already pushing for grandchildren." Shindou tapped the fan he carried to all his games against the table. He wasn't opening and closing it yet like when he was upset or extremely frustrated, but it was nearing that point. Akira sighed.

"Do you even want to be married Shindou? Or have children? I know I'm not ready to have a child. Some days being married still feels strange. Think about what is best for your sake, not just your parents." Akira gave up the pretense of playing since Shindou had stopped paying attention to the board. "My mother wants a grandchild, but she will have to wait until Natsume and I are ready."

"I don't know!" Shindou glared and tapped his fan harder. "It's your move."

"Shindou, your game is terrible today. Either we talk things through or give me a call when you work them out."

"You can't just stop in the middle of the game! That's not how it works!" It was hard to tell if Shindou looked angry or if he was just pouting. Or maybe it was both with a dose of upset mixed in to muddle it all. After so many years, Akira thought he should be able to read Shindou a bit better, but sometimes his emotions were strange.

"If you were in your right mind you would have resigned by now." The board was a mess. Akira thought he was showing a lot of maturity in not yelling at Shindou like he would a few years ago for playing so distracted. "Talk."

Shindou scowled and cleared the board. He hesitated every few moments as if trying to decide what to say. Akira waited patiently like he always did. "Touya, which would you choose, go or sex?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just answer the question." Shindou was actually blushing. Akira wondered if this was also something Waya had planted in Shindou's head or if it actually bothered him.

"I assume you mean playing a game or having sex…" Akira felt his cheeks warm slightly. Sex was not a topic he spoke of often, if at all. "Is it a specific game?"

Shindou glanced at him with wide eyes. Akira imagined he was in disbelief at his question being taken seriously. "Ah, um… it doesn't have to be."

"I would likely choose go," Akira said. Sex, while pleasant, was not as mentally satisfying as a good game of go. For Akira, the rush was similar in both, but only a game of go gave the satisfaction of knowing he was striving toward his dream.

Shindou breathed out a huge sigh. "So it isn't weird to think that. Waya was being a jerk saying I'd choose a game of go with you over sex."

"Would you?"

"Well, yeah, it's go. And with you. Duh."

"I see." Akira smiled. "I feel the same." While he doubted Shindou should take it as 'normal,' it was normal for them, which Akira was fine with. "Now can we try playing a game again or is there more on your mind?"

"No, I think I'm good now. Thanks Touya."

"Good. Now play me seriously."

**Hikaru**

Hikaru flexed his left hand feeling the pain of injured flesh under his bandages as he waited for someone to answer the door to the Touya household. The rush to the doctor earlier in the day had made him later than planned to meet up with Touya, but it shouldn't be a problem. Touya was used to it. He stuffed his hand in his pocket as the door swung open. He blinked at the unexpected woman in the doorway who smiled upon recognizing him.

"Ah, Shindou-san, come in."

Hikaru smiled at Natsume, surprised to find her home. He'd met Touya's wife at least a dozen times now, but only twice had it been in her own home. "Hello, Natsume-san, is Touya in?"

"Akira-san is reading in the study. Would you like for me to get him?" She hovered patiently in the doorway as Hikaru slid out of his shoes and into house slippers, keeping his left hand in his pants pocket. If it were only Touya, he would have gone in only his socks, but he kind of liked Natsume enough to want to not upset her. She was nice, even if she was more formal that Touya after a teaching game.

"No, that's ok. He should be expecting me. How are you doing, Natsume-san?"

As usual, she gave him a small smile that reminded him of Akira when he felt shy. "I am doing well. Mother has felt better recently, so I have been home more often. I am making plans for a new garden."

"Cool, what do you want to put in it?" He let his eyes wander as they walked down the hallway, noting Natsume's touch in the decorating alongside Touya's . She liked Western style painting, while Touya preferred traditional, so they had compromised by having a mixture of floral wall hangings in both styles. It made the hallway feel more welcoming and warm.

"Akira-san suggested wisteria. I pictured asters and am choosing plants to put in the same beds so that when one's season ends, another's can begin. Although I'm still deciding on whether I want crocus or daffodils to be central in early spring…"

"I'm sure it will be beautiful, Natsume-san," Hikaru said, keeping his smile positive even as the mention of wisteria made his mind flicker back to Sai. He had some of the strangest associations. The first time he saw the flower, though, it had reminded him of Sai in his friend's serious moments, beautiful and dignified…although e would deny it if anyone ever asked if he found another man beautiful.

"Akira-san, Shindou-san is here to see you," Natsume said before she slid open the study door. Touya was sitting comfortably by the window by the go board, reading by natural light. He smiled at the interruption.

"Thank you, Natsume."

"Would you care for tea or snacks?" she asked as Hikaru moved through the doorway.

"Maybe later." Touya smiled at her.

"Thank you Natsume-san," Hikaru said. He gave her a bright smile that had her blushing and bowing hastily out of the room. He watched her go feeling bemused.

"I think my wife has a crush on you," Touya said. He looked amused, so Hikaru took it as another weird brand of Touya teasing. Sometimes Touya was weird.

"She sounds happy," Hikaru said. He settled cross-legged on a cushion next to Touya and let himself relax.

"She's content." Touya set his book aside and held out his hand. Hikaru eyed it. "Give me your left hand," Touya explained patiently.

Hikaru held it out and jumped as it was snatched. Touya's long , go-callused fingers ran over his palm before resting over his fingers. They traced the three bandaged fingers gently. Hikaru shivered at the uncharacteristic intimacy. "They're not hurting," Hikaru said. The tiny frown on Touya's face was unnerving.

"You're lucky it was your left hand," Touya said.

Hikaru remembered glass shattering as he did the dishes and vowed again to wear gloves and buy plastic cups from now on. "Trust you to notice before I told you," Hikaru muttered. "Anyway, the doctor says they'll heal fine without stitches. It'll scar, but I won't lose mobility in my fingers or anything."

"Good." Touya trailed one final finger along Hikaru's hand before letting go and sitting back. "Now, would you care for a game?"

"Please. Since that's why I am here and all. What were you reading anyway?" He sifted until he was facing the go board and grinned as Touya had to move to the other side. Really, what did Touya expect, for Hikaru to move? He was just starting to get comfortable.

"Shirakawa-san's book on go origins. Please do not tell Natsume. She is under the impression I have been reading texts unrelated to go." Touya smiled. "Although reading the book in English has been an interesting challenge."

"You know English?" Hikaru looked at the book and confirmed that, yes, it was in English. So Touya knew Japanese, Korean, and now English. What was next? Mandarin? Russian?

"I'm not fluent," Touya said waving a hand, "but I did graduate from a prestigious high school. It's mentally stimulating."

Because everyone went and read books in another language that likely contained complicated intricacies of historical fact and theory. And damn it, long exposure to Touya was affecting his vocabulary.

"I take it you are single again?" Touya said passing the goke to Hikaru. He smiled slightly, just a quirk of the lips that meant he was probably laughing his ass off internally. "You are dressed more… casually… than you have been in a while."

Hikaru looked at his torn jeans and t-shirt with its black and white arrow design. Huh. He hadn't even noticed he had the habit of dressing differently when he dated. Take Touya and his weird fashion sense to notice that. "You know how weird it is that you notice stuff like that? And yeah, I think I'm going to take a break from dating for a while. It's getting me nowhere."

If Touya had doubts that Hikaru would carry through with this decision, he didn't say them. He did raise an eyebrow, the almost smile still lurking at the corner of his lips. "If I ever wore jeans or a t-shirt you would notice. I notice when you wear slacks since you only do that when you're dating."

"Oh." The thought of Touya in blue jeans was…unsettling. Hikaru pushed his bangs out of his face with his bad hand and winced. "And on that note, let's play a game."

"I expect it to be more on task than last time," Touya said mildly.

"Please, I'll make you resign before yose." This time Hikaru fell into the pace of the game easily. One move after another, he met Touya stone for stone. As always his heart pounded with the unnamed emotion Touya's games brought to him. It was like hope, joy, excitement, and anticipation mashed into one. Or something.

Hikaru didn't quite manage to make Touya resign before yose, but when the counted territory at the end, he won with one moku. "How's that for on task?" he asked grinning.

"Better," Touya said. "But your moves could have been better. You should have played the 3-5 point."

"Psh. Please, you'd have taken that territory halfway through the game if I played there. Because if I played there, you'd have played there, and it would have been a way different structure."

Touya jabbed a finger at the board. "Obviously you're blind if you think I'd play there next. I have improved since grade school, Shindou. I wouldn't make such a foolish, strategically insecure move."

"Whatever. You shouldn't point fingers. What were you thinking when you played tengen then? Trying to intimidate me? Because it wasn't helpful in the long run."

"I thought you would respond here, but you did one of your insane leaps in logic and played all the way over on the starpoint."

"Which led to my advantage in the game, duh."

Touya sighed, and Hikaru counted it as a victory. They didn't usually have shouting matches anymore, but it wasn't a true game if they didn't debate at least a little bit. A loud gurgle echoed from his middle. Hikaru stared at his stomach. "I guess I'm hungry."

Touya rolled his eyes in that way only Touya could. Somehow it never looked as silly as when other people do it, maybe because it usually was paired with him tucking hair behind his ear. "Ask politely and I am sure Natsume will provide you with something."

"I'm always polite to Natsume-san," Hikaru said, stretching. His shoulder popped and he rubbed it.

"And never to me, I notice."

"She feeds me." He held out a hand to help Touya to his feet. It was grasped without being used for leverage. Touya tightened his grip momentarily before letting go when he stood.

"And I give you go," Touya said calmly.

"Hmm, the needs of the mind of the needs of the body," Hikaru said teasingly. He watched Touya's hair sway against his jaw as he laughed. Waya would probably say this was flirting. Waya needed to stop analyzing other peoples' friendships. Whatever he had with Touya it was deeper than what he had with his girlfriends or Waya or Isumi. It didn't need to be romantic or sexual. Married, dating, whatever; it didn't change the constant that was Touya. Hikaru shrugged and followed him to the kitchen.

**Akira**

Inviting Shindou over once a month became once a week after Natsume took a liking to him. It did not take long for it to be more than once a week. Sometimes it felt like Shindou might as well move in with them, but it was an idea that was dismissed quickly due to the impropriety of such an arrangement. Not that Akira minded having Shindou over. It was simply that he forgot sometimes that Shindou was a force of nature more often than not. Like now. Usually Wednesdays were preserved for peaceful days with Natsume around the house when he didn't have a game. Instead, Akira was bemused to find Shindou in his living room discussing getting stains out of shirts with Natsume, of all topics.

"Laundry?" Akira asked. He stepped out to get a few groceries that they needed and returned to this. It wasn't unwelcome, simply unexpected.

"I keep getting stains on my dress shirts," Shindou said. "It's too expensive to get a new one every time and I'm not going to shove my laundry on my mom since I'm actually living on my own. Mom swears that baking soda works, but it hasn't helped at all."

"I see." It was interesting that Shindou turned to Natsume rather than his friends at the institute or the girl who used to be his neighbor.

"Yeah." Shindou leaned back in the living room chair looking smug for some reason known only to him. "Imagine my surprise that you're in charge of laundry duties."

"When I am able, yes." Akira raised an eyebrow at Natsume, who looked amused. "I don't see why I shouldn't if it is a skill I am capable of doing. I am part of the household, so I should assist in its upkeep."

Shindou looked surprised, as if he expected embarrassment. Perhaps from Waya he would receive such a reaction. "That's progressive of you."

"Not really." And it wasn't. Akira knew from his bachelor years how to care for himself, especially when his mother and father were gone for longs spans of time. He spent his days studying and playing go which, while it took up much of his time, was not as strenuous as his wife's schedule of caring for her parents as well as her own household. And she had interests of her own to pursue. It was truly the _least_ he could do to take care of laundry. At times he felt guilty for not doing more…but Shindou didn't need to know that. Natsume gave him a knowing look over her cup of tea. Thankfully, it was more amused than reproachful. "I'll….put these away?"

Natsume smiled and Shindou stared, and Akira walked to the kitchen feeling like he didn't know his own home anymore. Ogata would surely have observations and incorrect opinions about this. Ogata could run in circles with his theories for all Akira cared. As he put away the groceries there was laughter from the other room, and when he returned they had moved from laundry to Shindou's latest cooking disaster.

"I haven't been so surprised since—" Shindou's excited story faltered. Akira watched from the doorway in the second it happened, his face turn from humor to grief, to dismissal in quick succession. "In a long time," he finished smiling again. It was Sai, Akira was sure. Only Sai gave him that expression. Shindou shook himself and caught sight of Akira watching. His strained smile grew lopsided and genuine, if a bit sad. "Now that you're here, want to play a game?"

"Of course," Akira said. He touched Natsume's shoulder as he passed her. She touched his wrist in return. Acknowledgement. Understanding. He was fortunate to find a wife like her. Shindou went ahead to set up the board like he owned the place. It was oddly nice; like a confirmation of something.

"Invite him to dinner," Natsume said.

He would have without the suggestion. Shindou was an extension of the household by now. He was welcome without invitation.

That night Akira sat it bed, awake with Natsume at his side. Her breathing was even and calm, a sound it took time to adjust to initially but he missed when he was away. "Do you like him?" he asked her, knowing she was awake.

"Yes," she said. "And so do you."

Akira thought about it, the covers bunched at his waist. Shindou was his spark in life. His rival. His challenge. His companion on the trek for the hand of god. Natsume was his wife. A stable place to rest, a different kind of constant. She was calm. Shindou was fire. It should, he thought, disturb him more. It didn't. He valued and needed them both. Natsume held his affection, but Shindou held his passion. Akira knew that since he was twelve. "Yes," he said. "I suppose I do."

He slid under the covers and curled toward his wife. She brushed hair from his face as she looked in his eyes. She smiled at what she saw there. "I understand," she said in the touch of her hands. "I am with you." He leaned into her caress.

"I don't know where Shindou stands," Akira admitted. "I don't know where to go from here."

"Start by asking. He isn't the type to hide his opinion."

Shindou couldn't hide how he felt if his life depended on it. Happiness, sadness, guilt, triumph… they were transparent. Akira thought about the last decade. Shindou was the force driving most of it. Find Shindou, play a game with Shindou, leave Shindou in the dust, make Shindou play the best go he possibly can because so help him, Akira wouldn't let him fail after finally catching up. Marriage came into the picture as a side note, something he expected to happen and did. Somehow Shindou never shifted from the center of his life though.

Akira turned to better curl against Natsume's warmth. Were they the blind ones all these years? Waya, Ogata, even Isumi, Ashiwara, and Kuwabara-honinbo had all made comments. It was rivalry. It was more. He would ask Shindou tomorrow, or the next day, when he visited or when they met at the institute, whichever came first. He would test the lay of the stones and see where this game would play out to. Shindou never let him down in go. Surely he would meet him halfway with this too.

Natsume's breathing evened out in sleep. Akira's followed.


End file.
